I write this post with my daughter cuddled up on my ribs barely awake after a long day at preschool. Is it strange that she’s now 3, and she still smells like a baby at times? I then look at her and realize how quickly time has passed and how much time I’ve spent depressed or anxious. Not just any depression that comes and goes in waves, but a deep, dark depression that steals every last bit of joy and lingers. I’ve made some really difficult choices recently to pull myself from that pit.
At some point, you have to say enough is enough, let go of the death grip you have on how tough life has been, and choose to seek help. I’ve been receiving the help I so desperately needed and am feeling so much lighter. I’ve gotten rid of all of my social media that was taking up much more time than I had realized. I’ve learned plenty over the past few months since being cut off from the extra negativity.
I’ve learned that my time with my daughter is sacred and how much she needs her momma to be happy and at peace. I’ve learned that your idea of love may not be the same as another person. Most importantly, I’ve learned that although I can’t control some of the pain that enters my life, I can control my reaction or lack thereof. I can and will choose peace.
There are plenty of changes to come this summer, but I am ready for this new journey.